Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Waka Flocka Flame just got an iced-out Fozzie Bear cuz his catch-phrase is "Waka waka waka."

Jay-Z's brain just had a heart attack.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Full Circle Bar

318 Grand St (btw Havemeyer & Marcy)
Brooklyn, NY 11211

(347) 725-4588

Bathroom situation - one in the front room and one in the back room. Both unisex and both are surprisingly clean like whoa. I gotta stop to make water, Ms. Daisy!!!
Takes credit cards? - yeah, but make sure to bring a grip with you here cuz them skee-ball lanes will beckon your ass like whoa.
Crowded on weekends? - if it ain't league playoff finals or some shit then you'll be fine. Speaking of playoffs, fuck is up with the Cavs droppin game 3 in the Chi?! Fuck Noah and his dandruff.
Seating - the standard complement in the front bar and bleachers in the back, yo.
Neighborhood - it's in Wburg near Marcy ave, but it ain't that serious.
Pretentious/assholes - nah, everyone here was really helpful with explaining skee-ball rules, scoring and shit.
Cost of Stella -they had some deal on Miller Lite, so we didn't order any of that good-good, but their menu says it's $6 and 5.0% ABV.
What time people start showing up - is Ludlow St. really ground zero for STDs in NYC? Cuz Visceralist knows some fools out in Bushwick that wouldn't even know where to get a condom...let alone how to put one on properly...SMDH.
Bartender efficiency - two bartenders in front that know their way around a crowd of sycophants trying to get their attention. J/k, it never gets that crowded. Love the skee-ball panelling around the edges of the bar, tho.
Official Website - here. Totally adequate.
Food? How late - nah, but they do have a fucking extensive menu of all their drinks and shit on the site. Like seriously, down to the bottle opener.
TVs? What's on - yes, and for some reason showing b&w surveillance footage. May have been a viral promo for the new Splinter Cell game tho, not sure.
Guy:girl ratio - casual skee-ball seems to attract chicks like a Hot Chip/XX show at T5 or some shit. Btw, "Intro" may be one of the best hip hop beats of the past decade. Shouts out to Wait What.
Toys - Skeeball is a popular game. Lots of people play Skeeball. $1 will get you 9 balls at a swap.
Age of clientele - pretty sure the legal age requirement for skee-ball is like 9-14 in most counties in the US. So, here you'll mostly find people who were traumatized in one way or another during that period in their life.
Space for dancing? - victory dances only. There's technically enough room to bus' a c-walk here, but you'd just be confusing people. Save that for like S 4th and Havemeyer if you must.
Music medium, style & volume - how disappointing were both Drake & Nicki Minaj's debut singles from their new albums? Also, how thick are Antawn Jamison's eyebrows?
Specials or most popular drink - they don't appear to have a drink called The Skee Ball, which is just triflin'.

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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Cove

106 N 6th Street (btw Wythe & Berry)
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(212) 599-5959

Bathroom situation - there're 4 unisex units downstairs with a shared sink. The area around the sink is grimey like a Perkins parking lot (what up, Ti-Ti!), but the bathrooms somehow manage to be worse. Reminiscent of the early days of that old One D at a Time blog by that chick who parlayed that into a gig at Jezebel. She still alive?
Takes credit cards? - yeah, with a $15 minimum.
Crowded on weekends? - they have a little alcove in front of the entrance which tends to draw a congregation, but it never gets too frothy indoors.
Seating - tons and tons. If you can't get a seat here, you are a grade-A, Cross Colours-wearing L to the O-SER. Visceralist, meanwhile, is one of the original playas from the himalayas. Write that down!
Neighborhood - you can see the East River from here, which is nice cuz that means the scenery is like mwah! wanna-hump-up-on-it gorgeous. Downside: hard to catch a cab here.
Pretentious/assholes - you'll find lots of folks here that have to wiggle to get into their jeans, but despite that, The Cove does seem to do a good bit of business with some fine young individuals.
Cost of Stella -5 dollars, muthafucka! They managed to crack the $6 Stella floor that for so long seemed so damned impregnable. That alone should warrant a trip.
What time people start showing up - this seems like the kind of place where people lurk around the corner, surveilling like the Jakes, just waitin for other people to show up before they walk in. That said, Visceralist showed up at around 2:30am recently and the place was whatever 2 notches down from "jumpin" would be.
Bartender efficiency - gotta give it up here. These mugs came through than a muh. Lot of good stuff going on here.
Official Website - Visceralist toyed around with the iPad today and thought it was slicker than your average...but still not sold. How we gonna get the new Gucci or Nicki mixtape on that shit? Oh, we gotta download it on our main computer and transfer? Oh word? On to the next one...
Food? How late -'the fuck outta here...
TVs? What's on - no, but they did have one of those laser-light discoball shits. The lights were green the other night so Visceralist felt like we were Neo in the Matrix after he realized he was The One. Then we start poppin shit with the tall, bald black dude and we got snapped back to reality (oh! there goes gravity).
Guy:girl ratio - Visceralist's favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: "I don't have a girlfriend...I just know someone who'd be really pissed if she heard me say that."
Toys - they do have like a pinball or some skee-ball shit off in the corner, but with the vibe here it's like they just have that so they know who to kick out.
Age of clientele - people nearing their early-to-mid 30s, but who still know who Waka Flocka Flame is.
Space for dancing? - yep yep. This spot is actually one of the best places to catch a dance move what Visceralist has dubbed the Hipster Git-Bizzy...which is basically a more peptic version of the Charlie Brown dance.
Music medium, style & volume - fuck yeah, you had to ask? They got DJs on the reg-ro with names like Dario Speedwagon and DJ Tikka Masala. Comewidditnow!
Specials or most popular drink - fuck, LOST dropping the ball this season, or what?

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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Best Rapper Alive

She said she "stick shift the dingaling."