Thursday, July 29, 2010

Savalas

285 Bedford Ave (btw S 1st St. & Grand St.)
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 599-5965

Bathroom situation
- 3 or 4 unisex single-person units in the back with a communal sink. So, question-time commenters, when you see a guy & girl come out of one of the b-rooms together, do you think it's more likely they're doing coke or doing the pants-on-the-ground lambada (that's the forbidden dance)? Cuz they damn sure ain't doin both. Food for thought, but Visceralist gets annoyed either way.
Takes credit cards? - (Teddy Riley voice) Yep Yep.
Crowded on weekends?- yeah, the weekend is when this spot gets sweaty. The bouncers do a good job of keeping it from getting downright unruly, but "accidental" ass grabs will def be a must, trust.
Seating - this place prolly has one of the highest booth : square-foot ratios of any bar of its kind in the wburg diaspora. That said, you'll still have almost no chance of getting a seat at one unless your clique got there sometime that's not up in the between 11pm and 2am [ed. the grammar police just called in the grammar SWAT team after reading that sentence...smh].
Neighborhood - On the border between the tan-with-your-top-off part of Williamsburg and the clutch-your-pearls part of Williamsburg. That's a metaphor. No, but really...
Pretentious/assholes - the dance floor is usually pretty audacious (more on that later), so it seems like most folks here check their middle school insecurity at the door.
Cost of Stella -fuck, Visceralist got here at like 2am on a Saturday night recently (got a booth), but we're blanking. Prolly cuz we got here at like 2am on a Saturday night.
What time people start showing up- the Yelp reviews of this place are just *mwwwahh* in their would-be precociousness. Check out Vinci from the BX's review in particular. Reviews like this are why Visceralist started Visceralist.com.
Bartender efficiency - you'll def be waiting for a bit (even when the dance floor is jumpin) but just a bit.
Official Website - here. It asks you to visit their Facebook, but doesn't provide a link or re-direct. Might as well link to their fuckin Orkut page...
Food? How late - does water count? [ed. No, and you know it doesn't.] Cuz they have that at the sinks.
TVs? What's on- nope, so no bootleg Inception viewin' for you. Visceralist's mind was the scene of an orgasm, btw.
Guy:girl ratio - girls tend to get harassed on the dance floor here, but still come in droves, so what does that tell you...
Toys- you can smoke in the "porch" area out front.
Age of clientele - how old is too old, really? Kobe's 31 and Lord of the Fuckin Rings, so what does that tell you...
Space for dancing? - yeah, so this is really the only reason to come to this place. Best dance spot in the Burg-burg. Gully. Juice.
Music medium, style & volume- DJ'd and hip hop to the break of dawn, like come on now. That they're in Wburg and play hip-hop all night makes Savalas an oasis in a desert of bland garage-rock...like that shit's gonna come back. Fuck the fuck outta here with all that bougie...
Specials or most popular drink - Killa said he's heroin (pronounced "hair-ron") and sex in one...dope as fuck!

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