Friday, September 11, 2015

The Johnson's

Bathroom situation - fuckin' hell it's been a while since we've gotten into this nonsense. Let's see if we still have the touch...we're all set up: 3 for $6 tall-boys of Bud Light, dance music blaring through the earbuds into my tinnitus (Jack U's "Where Are You Now" at the moment), and a brain full of shit-talkin' that's gots to gets out our head and onto the net. They have 2 bathrooms here. Both single-person. [ed. Oof]
Crowded on weekends? - yeah, yo. It's a lot bigger than it's LES counterpart, so it doesn't seem to get ugly, itchy, dirty crowded, which is nice, yo. Lots of over-the-shoulder looking around, then rejoining the conversation to be had here. 
Seating - plenty, and they have some weird hammock-like shit in the front. Hopefully misogyny isn't dripping over this next point, but: chicks be sitting in that for attention. There, we said it!
Neighborhood - to say this part of Bushwick is steady gentrifying is as boring as saying that Trump is gonna actually win the '16 thing. He fucking is actually gonna win! Fuck! I don't want that cut to win, but yo!
Pretentious/assholes - our boy that's a doctor spent like 45 mins talking to this crew of chicks on his own while we were surveilling from the distance cuz we be bitch made. They all had boyfriends or something.
Cost of Stella -as it was in 2013, it's still $6 in 2015, thank god. But like, it seems like it should be less here. They do have some random beer that's like $2 on Fridays, which is pretty dope, but it feels like there's still some kind of edge when it comes to that here.
What time people start showing up - ok, so we can accurately attest to this cuz our boy BoBo has starting doing this thing where he wants to go to hellafied spots early on the weekend. Having done it a few times, it is actually kinda dope cuz you can surveill the spot and bounce if it looks like it's gonna be a bunch of interlopin' nerdlingers all night. So give it a try.
Bartender efficiency -no complaints here. They had 2 of them running full steam during rush hour. Funny, we were with our boy born/raised in QNS, and he had no problem being a complete dick to the bartender. We here at Visceralist Inc. don't truck that tho, so. He wasn't with us.
Official Website - you can find it [ed. maybe we should X this line?]
The rest of the criteria -will be back next time. We just wanna celebrate that we fucking back, yo!