Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Dixon Place

161 Chrystie (btw Delancey & Rivington)
NYC, NY 10002

Bathroom situation - just past the lounge area which itself is just past the bar in front (on your right). There’s a communal unisex area with a shared basin that is abutted on its left and its right with 2 single-person closets each. So 4 total. Ladies, bear in mind that the far one on the left only contains a urinal, so unless you’re the kind of nasty girl who celebrates when the guy fingering you in the bathroom stops to pull his now blood-soaked fingers up to your face (like from epsiode 2 of Girls), then I suggest waiting for one of the other 3. Cuz that’s nasty.
Takes credit cards? - not at the bar, no. The area is replete with standalone ATMs, but Visceralist doesn’t fuck with them cuz of all those local news reports about card-skimmers which probably exaggerate the problem, but why risk it, just go to a bank. There’s a BofA and two Chase branches 3 blocks East on Delancey St.
Crowded on weekends? - so Dixon Place does double duty as a bar & theatre space. The performance space downstairs holds a gang of people, and as we all know, after the show it’s the after-party, and since there’s a bar right upstairs from the show, that’s where the after-party be at.
Seating - 10 or so stools around the bar and a large, mock-persian-carpeted area on the street-level. Seating for about 90 in the performance area.
Neighborhood - right on the LES/SoHo border so expect to get bypassed by yellow cabs and gouged by gypsy cabs. So fuck it, just move down here. 

Read the rest at

Friday, May 11, 2012

Sons of Essex

133 Essex Street (btw Rivington & Stanton)
NYC, NY 10002

Bathroom situation - Visceralist recently used the adjective “swanky” in a conversation with two art school seniors. They had no clue wtf I meant (and yeah, they actually spelled out “W-T-F”). Commenters, is Visceralist just getting old & flabby or was it just them being willfully ignorant? It was them, right? See, that’s what I thought. Anyway, the bathrooms at SoE are swanky as all get out.
Takes credit cards? - yes, and with no discernible minimum. The drinks here are fairly costly though, so perhaps it’s just never an issue cuz you hit it as soon as you even look at the drink menu (more on that later).
Crowded on weekends? - yes if consider the weekend to be Wed-Sun. If you’re getting dinner, then reservations is a must.
Seating - 10 or so stools at the bar, two long communal tables just opposite the bar, a restaurant-style setup w/ 10 or so tables in back. Fun fact! This spot used to be a shithole travesty called Mason-Dixon that featured a mechanical bull in the back. The “bullpen” area now features a sunken lounge with a DJ booth adjacent.
Neighborhood - the part of the LES that you take friends from out of town to in order to show off your big-city bonafides, you swanky scenester, you.
Pretentious/assholes - so SoE has chosen to employ this new faux-storefront gimmick that they most likely sharked from their across-the-street neighbor Beauty and Essex. Your out-of-town friends will likely find this to be pretty swanky, but I think we can all agree that, really, it’s kinda triflin’. 

Read the rest at

Monday, May 7, 2012

St. Jerome's

155 Rivington St. (btw Clinton & Suffolk)
NYC, NY 10002
(212) 533-1810

Bathroom situation - 2 in the way back part, both unisex. The one on the left is huge and tatted up. The one on the right has a missing doorknob, but it’s ok cuz the knob-hole has been filled in with duct tape and you can hold the door closed from the toilet if you have to sit down (so that’s a big “Phew!” for the ladies, I’d imagine).
Takes credit cards? - Yeah they do, but don’t do that. Speaking of don’ many folks out here thought it was “Downtown Abbey” for the longest?
Crowded on weekends? - oh hell yeah, fuckin’ right. Exhausting those max capacity signs is a must.
Seating - 4ish booths on the left wall, 8-10ish stools at the bar, and room for a small bachelor party in the bathroom on the left side. Oh yeah, as mentioned above, the one on the left is big. Plus it has a functional lock.
Neighborhood - so close to the heart of the LES that you may as well be suckin its tits on the subway (right, Blossom?).

Read the rest at