Thursday, August 11, 2011

White Star

21 Essex St. (btw Division & Hester)
New York, NY 10012
no digits

Bathroom situation
- 2 downstairs, both with functional locks, so you don't have to worry about a replay of that one scene from the doll episode of Curb in season 2 where Larry's supposed to be watching the door while Cheryl's in the bathroom, then he gets distracted, then the plumber dude walks in on her "at the worst possible moment" (her words). God, that'd be the worst. Even for a dude.
Takes credit cards? - no, and they don't have an ATM either, so be sure to get your racks right before carrying your drinking problem across the threshold.
Crowded on weekends? - this place is smaller than a cherry's butthole, but somehow never gets too cramped.
Seating - 7 or 8 stools at the bar, and a backroom with plush seating for, say, 10-15.
Neighborhood - the off-the-grid, "Into the Wild" portion of the LES/Chinatown border. Cabs be scarce and women be shoppin.
Pretentious/assholes - do douches still pop collars? Visceralist hasn't seen this in a while, so we'll assume it's an artifact at this point. Hmmm...time for an ironic comeback? Commenters...?
Cost of Stella - you'll have to do that old trick where you sneak some in in a Snapple bottle then take a few cheeky swigs when the bartender isn't looking. Cuz they don't sell it here.
What time people start showing up - though White Star apparently has a fairly strong profile in general (126 Yelp reviews and counting), it seems to cater mostly to regulars who stop by, find out what the good word is, then peace in the middle east.
Bartender efficiency - this is a cocktail-driven bar, and the cocktails they slang are fairly elaborate (pestles fucking mortars), so bring your kindles.
Official Website - none. Btw, best Bodie line from the Wire - in Season 2 when they're running out of product and two of his underlings come around asking for severance pay because they haven't had any work in a while and Bodie's like "Y'all better go and get the hell on before I lose my composure out this bitch!"
Food? How late - though Bodie has a shaved head throughout most of the series, in the pilot he has his hair like Kobe's when he first got into the league. Most likely because the pilot was filmed separately from the rest of Season 1.
TVs? What's on - Visceralist still thinks they made Bodie a bit too sympathetic in Season 4, given what he did to Wallace, but he did get his predictable comeuppance, so...composure!
Guy:girl ratio - can't stop a woman from shoppin...
Toys - if Visceralist remembers correctly, there's a pole in the backroom. Work that core!
Age of clientele - skews 30s.
Space for dancing? - is pole-dancing really dancing or is it more narcissism in motion. Commenters?
Music medium, style & volume - they sometimes have a DJ here on the weekends, but usually you'll be treated to the bartender's iPod's essential best-of greatest hits.
Specials or most popular drink - try the Stevens Point Ale. We hear it's the bomb (#SantangeloSeason3Hamsterdam).

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