Thursday, March 1, 2012

169 Bar

 169 E. Broadway (btw Pike & Rutgers)
NYC, NY 10002
(646) 833-7199

Bathroom situation
- 2 single-person R. Kelly sex tapes just past the bar on the left. 1 M & 1 W. Grimey as "I don't know what." Commenters, what do you think was going on in the bathrooms at the Oscars? Other than the obvious, obvs. The obvious obviously being yard stick lines of that yola and BJs.
Takes credit cards? - yeah, they got that. Oh, pro-tip: having your credit card company check your credit score somehow lowers your credit score. Kenan Thompson, what's up with that?!
Crowded on weekends? - jumpin jehosaphat, yes! This is the only halfway decent bar in like a 3-block radius (other than Clandestino, obvs), so it's known to get saucy.
Seating - 10 or so seats at the bar, some tables and 3 or 4 booths in the front room and some sofas in the back room. Still and all, you will be standing, so be sure to wear your comfortable Louboutins. Speaking of which, can we talk about how fucking pug fugly these Louboutins is? On some Lee Bowery shit. With his(?) overrated ass.
Neighborhood - like how that huge ice wall in Game of Thrones separates civilization from those blue-eyed wildebeast muthafuckas. 169 is right on the border of the LES and God-knows-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-over-there.
Pretentious/assholes - yeah, but hey, everybody's got a story.
Cost of Stella - fuck, whatever, just give me that delicious.
What time people start showing up - Visceralist got here at like 11:30pm on a recent Saturday and the crowd was fairly robust but not snakepit in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
TVs? What's on - Btw, it's cool that Octavia Spencer got her due and Viola Davis was the real winner like everyone knows she really won, but fuck, Black people can only win when they're getting fucked over or evil? Still? We got a black man in the white house and Colin Firth's winning for reading some lip service someone else wrote for him and Sandra's winning for being condescending, and the brothers and sisters still have to dklj;afdkl;ajdkf fuck! Not that the Oscars should be the arbiter of anything, but damn.
Guy:girl ratio - Angelina's right leg.
Toys - pool table with the illegal leopard print and everything!
Age of clientele - it's a cheap LES bar.
Space for dancing? - the last time Visceralist was here, they had a chick doing some burlesque pole dance with a tip bucket in front of her.
Music medium, style & volume - being a music snob is fucking terrible. Being a comedy snob is ok.
Specials or most popular drink - yo, check out Kris E's Yelp review of this place. The owner fucking ethered him(?) for showing up late. So fucking ill. Co-sign.

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