Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Best Unused Moving-Ending One-Liners

Ever since Michael Corleone told his wife "Don't ever ask me about my business, Kate." screenwriters have been trying to outdo each other by trying to write the most gangsta cinematic line OF ALL TIME. And, yeah, there have been a few viable contenders since then. Phil Leotardo telling that woman who was an affiliate of Tony's on The Sopranos "Next time, there won't be a next time." after he shot at her through a phone book (but the bullet didn't go all the way through). Tony Montana talking about his balls. Heath Ledger saying "Jack Twist, I swear..." But, unfortunately, nothing has really blown minds all to heck recently (right commentariat?). Luckily for y'all though, your boy Vissy has come up with a few on spec. Feel free to disburse as y'all see fit.

Line : Your suspicions are right - that is my son. But I'm gonna let you raise him.
Context: Some drama where some underling has cuckolded the boss - which the boss only realizes at the end. Likely delivered as the underling is dying. His last words!
Line : Most people would refer to this as a wine-bottle corkscrew. Now,'re gonna find out why I call it...a password-extractor.
Context: Delivered by some kind of Bond villain to a tied-up Bond-type right before he leaves the room to consult with a flunky on some important business.

Line : You seem to feel like you just won the Superbowl. Nuh uh. You just finished a Pop Warner game where they don't keep score. Vicariously. Through your nephew.
Context: This would be delivered as a metaphor. Presumably in some business drama where the protagonist has pulled just a fantastic switcheroo on the antagonist. So good. 
Read the rest at Put That Shit on the List.

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