Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Cake Shop

152 Ludlow St. (btw Rivington & Stanton)
New York, NY 10002
(212) 252-0036

Bathroom situation
- in a words: surprisingly paltry. They only have one single-use honey-drop on the street level, and it's bus' down like Shaq's knees [ed. and that mug's still making more than Bron Bron this year...smh]. They have a Dude's & Dudette's downstairs, but since that's where their stage is, you'll usually have to come out your pocket to use them. Smfh.
Takes credit cards?- Though Visceralist definitely recalls having left our corporate card here overnight one time and came back the next day all grateful when it turned up in their lost-n-found [ed. not grateful enough to leave a tip though, according to the expense report. smh], they appurrntly no longer take cards here. So unroll them bills, mayne...
Crowded on weekends?- yes, but the street level is usually not terribly painful given that there'll be PLENTY of room in the back area where they still try to sell some kind of physical, analog musical conveyance that doesn't have any usb interface or nothin' like that there. As for the downstairs area...you know that scene in Kubrick's "The Shining" where the elevator doors open and blood pours out like 2 feet deep? No, never seen it? Ok, well just imagine something like that, but replace the blood with sweat and Beacon's Closet receipts and that basically sums up the downstairs "venue" space.
Seating- street level has a few stools and 4 or 5 tables, plus they prolly wouldn't mind if you sat your dumps right down on the record racks in the back, cuz it's not like they're gonna be making any money off them like ever [ed. never ever]. Downstairs has a couple stools and a few couches like you'd find during "lesson time" from an old episode of Electric Company or some such.
Neighborhood- 1 hop + 1 skip away from famed LES nightspot Libation, whose velvet rope no Cake Shopper would make it past even if they gave it the bum's rush in a bodysuit made of H1N1 & Lyme's disease.
Pretentious/assholes- Visceralist had an experience here in which some trick-ass mark tried to cut in the front of the upstairs bathroom line cuz he "had to go really really bad." And then the rest of the night went really really bad for him.
Cost of Stella - a rote $6, but they only have it in those glass bottles you often see beer come in.
What time people start showing up- well, they serve food here plus they sell records [ed. pssht], so folk dawdle in and loiter out basically throughout the day.
Bartender efficiency- the downstairs bar usually has two bartenders on busy nights, but there's still a good chance you'll be struggling to make eye contact and then reaching over a person or two to exchange unrolled dollar bills for booze. Your best bet: waving your arms wildly and screaming "Hey! Heyyyy!" until the needle on the (unpurchased) record skips and the whole place goes silent and everyone turns to glare at you.
Official Website - here. Visceralist can't even stunt on this cuz it's actually quite well organized, colorful and extremely band-friendly (clear contact info for booking + a list of equipment available...a rarity).
Food? How late- Visceralist is a carnivore to the nth, repeating ("Yes, we'll have the Scotch Egg with the bacon au jus.") so something about the vegan-delightful vibe of the cafe here just plain rubs us sideways. Plus, um, hello...there's a recession going, so how often are we really throwing out our day-old pastries, people? Think on it.
TVs? What's on - closest you might get is some kind of TV on the Radio side-project.
Guy:girl ratio- one of the Real Housewives of NYC came here one time cuz she heard The Bravery were gonna do a secret MySpace show that was sponsored by Sparks & American Apparel. With photos by The Cobra Snake. Didn't pan out...
Toys - whipping old records at Chuck Klosterman's stupid glasses.
Age of clientele - let's just say that most folks here will totes understand why Bronson Pinchot's recent AV Club interview was so damn brolic.
Space for dancing? - well, this isn't really that type of place. But on the plus side, it's also not the type of place where you're likely to get your ass gaffled in a sweaty mosh pit.
ID Check Procedure- kissy faces, blush & eye-lash batting ain't a gonna work here. On the other hand, it might...Visceralist has never really been here.
Music medium, style & volume
- j/k...Visceralist caught MGMT here back in early '08 before they blew up the fuck. And, get this, they didn't even do "Kids"...or as the meathead in the audience called it, "Play Control Yourself!"
Specials or most popular drink - PG Tips.

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