Friday, April 9, 2010

The Cove

106 N 6th Street (btw Wythe & Berry)
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(212) 599-5959

Bathroom situation - there're 4 unisex units downstairs with a shared sink. The area around the sink is grimey like a Perkins parking lot (what up, Ti-Ti!), but the bathrooms somehow manage to be worse. Reminiscent of the early days of that old One D at a Time blog by that chick who parlayed that into a gig at Jezebel. She still alive?
Takes credit cards? - yeah, with a $15 minimum.
Crowded on weekends? - they have a little alcove in front of the entrance which tends to draw a congregation, but it never gets too frothy indoors.
Seating - tons and tons. If you can't get a seat here, you are a grade-A, Cross Colours-wearing L to the O-SER. Visceralist, meanwhile, is one of the original playas from the himalayas. Write that down!
Neighborhood - you can see the East River from here, which is nice cuz that means the scenery is like mwah! wanna-hump-up-on-it gorgeous. Downside: hard to catch a cab here.
Pretentious/assholes - you'll find lots of folks here that have to wiggle to get into their jeans, but despite that, The Cove does seem to do a good bit of business with some fine young individuals.
Cost of Stella -5 dollars, muthafucka! They managed to crack the $6 Stella floor that for so long seemed so damned impregnable. That alone should warrant a trip.
What time people start showing up - this seems like the kind of place where people lurk around the corner, surveilling like the Jakes, just waitin for other people to show up before they walk in. That said, Visceralist showed up at around 2:30am recently and the place was whatever 2 notches down from "jumpin" would be.
Bartender efficiency - gotta give it up here. These mugs came through than a muh. Lot of good stuff going on here.
Official Website - Visceralist toyed around with the iPad today and thought it was slicker than your average...but still not sold. How we gonna get the new Gucci or Nicki mixtape on that shit? Oh, we gotta download it on our main computer and transfer? Oh word? On to the next one...
Food? How late -'the fuck outta here...
TVs? What's on - no, but they did have one of those laser-light discoball shits. The lights were green the other night so Visceralist felt like we were Neo in the Matrix after he realized he was The One. Then we start poppin shit with the tall, bald black dude and we got snapped back to reality (oh! there goes gravity).
Guy:girl ratio - Visceralist's favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: "I don't have a girlfriend...I just know someone who'd be really pissed if she heard me say that."
Toys - they do have like a pinball or some skee-ball shit off in the corner, but with the vibe here it's like they just have that so they know who to kick out.
Age of clientele - people nearing their early-to-mid 30s, but who still know who Waka Flocka Flame is.
Space for dancing? - yep yep. This spot is actually one of the best places to catch a dance move what Visceralist has dubbed the Hipster Git-Bizzy...which is basically a more peptic version of the Charlie Brown dance.
Music medium, style & volume - fuck yeah, you had to ask? They got DJs on the reg-ro with names like Dario Speedwagon and DJ Tikka Masala. Comewidditnow!
Specials or most popular drink - fuck, LOST dropping the ball this season, or what?

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