Thursday, May 6, 2010

Ava Lounge

210 W. 55th St. (btw Broadway & 7th Ave)
New York, NY 10019

(212) 956-7020

Bathroom situation - 1 M & 1 W to the right when you get off the elevator. Both are white-tiled and surprisingly immaculate. The men's has framed photos of "tasteful nudes" on the wall. Presumably, the women's has equally tasteful photos of like Steve Nash and/or Lance Armstrong from that one Gatorade ad campaign (shouts out to Los Suns, btw).
Takes credit cards? - avec plaisir. Yeah, that's the kinda faux-familiarity you'll have to have with the Romance Langs in order to fit in here. 8th grade French w/ that one cute-ish grad student FTW!
Crowded on weekends? - Visceralist will be god-damned if we ever show up in midtown on a weekend, walking slowly behind the map-holders.
Seating - the main space has like 4 stools at the bar, but a number of tables in the main area. There's a room around the corner that has like 6 couches, which will fit a small going-away party nicely. They also have one of the flyest roofdecks in NYC here which, if you actually go up there during the summer months, will be downright transcendent [ed. shouts out to hyperbole.].
Neighborhood - the grip-in-the-money-clip part of Midtown West. Meh. If you're here, it's prolly for something that you can leave after 1 drink, so don't worry too much.
Pretentious/assholes - sheeeiiiit. Basically, everyone that comes here and likes it either went to Dartmouth or UVA.
Cost of Stella -$8....eight fucking dollars. In the bottle. Plus tip, playboy.
What time people start showing up - it's Midtown and it has a roofdeck...and, as of this writing, it's essentially summer. That means, like 5ish - 7ish, this place is a shit-show like the ending of that old movie "Freaks."
Bartender efficiency - Visceralist doesn't really like goin' ham on bartenders in general, cuz we know how shitty the gig can be. But holy moly, do the bartenders here give you the "Pssshhht!" + eye-roll like ev-a-ry day. Granted, we came through rockin' the fitted New Era and some Levi's, but still. Frustrating shit. Plus, management makes them dress like some straight skeezas for some reason.
Official Website - here. The photos are great, but the rest is downright rudimentary. The Menu section is "Coming Soon" which is some bullshit, cuz this place has been a going concern for at least 3 years. Guess they're focusing their ad budget on print ads in the NY Sun and Observer.
Food? How late - Duane Reade now sells "NYC Experience" packages at the registers that include tix to plays and gift certificates at Murray Hill restaurants and suchlike. That > Ava Lounge.
TVs? What's on - no, cuz they're classy. Meanwhile, how bout some shouts out for LOST for being on a roll like whoa now that we're in the Final-Season home stretch.
Guy:girl ratio - there's a Facebook group called "I'm Single - You're Gonna Have to be Pretty Amazing to Change That." To which Visceralist replies "SMH...The problem with young people today...."
Toys - playing hide-and-seek with the bouncer after you put your New Era fitted back on, after dude told you to take it off (cuz this place is classy, mind).
Age of clientele - gotta be like 35-45. Fuck.
Space for dancing? - not really. Chicks can't really dance in heels and guys in suits who are stopping by Ava after a long day at Lehman aren't really in the mood.
Music medium, style & volume - but for some reason they have a DJ setup in the main bar area. He was spinnin shit like "Rumpshaker" and "I Got the Feelin" last time Visceralist was there, so...
Specials or most popular drink - honestly...fuck this place.
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