Friday, May 28, 2010

UC Lounge


87 Ludlow St (btw Delancey & Broome)
New York, NY 10002

(212) 677-1100
This review kinda shadows Visceralist's earlier review of 87 Lounge, but they've since done a renovation/remix, so why not.

Bathroom situation
- 2 unisex cuts. One is perfectly visible & accessible straight ahead and to the back. The other one is in the way-back of the auxiliary room/performance space. When the downstairs area is open (weekends, usually) there are two more down there. Have to say, they've cleaned up their act since the 87 Lounge days, but they're still maybe one step above LES dive status.
Takes credit cards? - yes, with a $20 min.
Crowded on weekends? - depends on what you really consider a weekend to be all about. [ed. WTF...are you writing this review on Xanax?] Nah, just going through some shit....[ed. SMH]
Seating - 1 conspicuous booth in the front window, 10ish stools along the main bar and the same spread of couches in the side room that they had when it was 87.
Neighborhood - a parking lot takes up most of this block's acreage, so it doesn't get much foot traffic. Still it's close to Delancey where catching a cab is usually no problem. Even if you're going to BK (i.e., when the cabbie rolls down the window and yells "Where to?" before he picks you up [ed. which is illegal, btw], you don't necessarily have to say "Williamsburg...the good part, the good part." Though it won't hurt).
Pretentious/assholes - kinda, mane. Though there usually aren't enough people here to form an a-hole critical mass.
Cost of Stella -$6 on tap, and they have those regulation Stella glasses.
What time people start showing up - ....if people show up, more like.
Bartender efficiency - last time Visceralist was here, the bartender was straight gettin' punked by some button-up Aleksey Vayner-types, but he was still surprisingly magnanimous about it. Stella glasses then came across certain foreheads in Visceralist's daydream, but the reality was way more boring.
Official Website - here. Way better than 87's, but Flash-heavy and seems kinda sparse. Full disclosure, Visceralist actually likes the new setup of the bar in general and the staff too, so we'll just say that there's room for improvement here.
Food? How late - nathan.
TVs? What's on - Sports McGorts. For when you finally have nothing human to connect with anymore....
Guy:girl ratio - If we're rounding up, prolly like 100:0.
Toys - judging by the button-ups that were here recently, making fun of the bartender for being poor seems to be the predominant pastime. Fsmfh...
Age of clientele - late 20s.
Space for dancing? - yes, the aforementioned auxiliary room has its cabaret license paperwork up to date and notarized.
Music medium, style & volume - in the dance-room, it's "WHAT'D YOU SAY?!" loud on the weekends. Could use more Gucci Mane, but Visceralist won't complain about some early 90's-era Death Row shit. OK, now Visceralist hates when other bloggers post song lyrics, but this Gucci soliloquy is too perfect:

I'm in the bank, makin' depo's
While y'all be gettin repo'd
I'm zero, zero, zero
Comma, zero after zero

My jewelry game sick
I think my jeweler need chemo
Wonder Woman bracelet on
But I'm no superhero

Cocky? Yes, I'm rockin this
Cuz ain't no body hot as this
So hot as hot lava get
And I'm not with that Midas shit(?)

Poppin' Cris'
Think that I need alcohol-anonymous
4-5 in the club,
I could kill a hippopotamus

Specials or most popular drink
- buy-one-get-one from 6-10pm happy hour, which is a rarity in this hood. So write that down!
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