Saturday, June 11, 2011

Larry Lawrence

295 Grand St. (btw Roebling & Havemayer)
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 218-7866

Bathroom situation
- 2 single-person stalls (aren't they the best?!) in the back. Visceralist makes a concerted effort to take a bathroom photo for each review, and we likely did at Larry Lawrence the last time we were here. However! Our iPhone is so loaded up with bathroom shots at this point that it's sometimes hard to remember which is which. Commenters, help us out with this one.
Takes credit cards? - you know that thing where you start a tab (oh, yeah they do take credit cards here, btw) and then you get another drink and the bartender is like "What's your name?" But it's really loud and you have a weird name? Pro tip! Pull out your iPhone and write your last name out in all caps in Notes then just show it to them. We had great success with this recently, you guys!
Crowded on weekends? - yeah, but there's so much damn surface area that it's never really a thing, like.
Seating - 10 or 11 stools at the bar and a few booths that look like they were hewn from some hellafied slabs of oak.
Neighborhood - the part of Wburg that no one really talks about, but has some of the most hellafied restaurants and bars. How is Bushwick getting more love than LoMidBurg, you guys?
Pretentious/assholes - hmmmm...hard to say, you guys. Someone did roll up on us and say "You'd be cuter with more bangs" but we weren't totally sure if that really counted as a neg, so we didn't bother fucking.
Cost of Stella - 6 foot, 7 foot. Anyone watching Wayne's unplugged tomorrow, btw? We don't have cable here at Visceralist HQ, so commenters, help us out again.
What time people start showing up - 11 in the post.
Bartender efficiency - Visceralist was at a bar recently where we started a tab and when we finally went to Hancock that bitch there was an 18% gratuity already included. Now, this wasn't in NYC, but still. And then! there was a line for yet another tip. Wildly inappropriate. So we signed it "Visceralist don't go for the okey doke."
Official Website - here. The "Events" section lets us know that they're open on Thanksgiving at 10pm, but hey...
Food? How late - Walter and Rye are both within a block of LL, so go there for fud.
TVs? What's on - apparently Oprah's highest-rated episode was one from 1993 that was about guys who date older women. But that was before the net-based stratification of entertainment ooptions, so what the hell else were people supposed to do?
Guy:girl ratio - gentlemen, it's summer in NYC! You know what that's about. You know...#prurience
Toys - there's an outdoor area that you have to walk up some damn stairs to get to. It's where people go to smoke light cigarettes and drink diet Coke and listen to Vampire Weekend as part of a healthier lifestyle.
Age of clientele - dirty thirties.
Space for dancing? - how does one dance to LCD Soundsystem, exactly? Not being facetious, like really, how does it work? We're sort of being facetious.
Music medium, style & volume - lots of Vampire Weekend and LCD Soundsystem.
Specials or most popular drink - remember this? "Um, excuse me, I ordered a Zima, not emphysema."

View Larger Map

No comments: