Friday, May 11, 2012

Sons of Essex

133 Essex Street (btw Rivington & Stanton)
NYC, NY 10002

Bathroom situation - Visceralist recently used the adjective “swanky” in a conversation with two art school seniors. They had no clue wtf I meant (and yeah, they actually spelled out “W-T-F”). Commenters, is Visceralist just getting old & flabby or was it just them being willfully ignorant? It was them, right? See, that’s what I thought. Anyway, the bathrooms at SoE are swanky as all get out.
Takes credit cards? - yes, and with no discernible minimum. The drinks here are fairly costly though, so perhaps it’s just never an issue cuz you hit it as soon as you even look at the drink menu (more on that later).
Crowded on weekends? - yes if consider the weekend to be Wed-Sun. If you’re getting dinner, then reservations is a must.
Seating - 10 or so stools at the bar, two long communal tables just opposite the bar, a restaurant-style setup w/ 10 or so tables in back. Fun fact! This spot used to be a shithole travesty called Mason-Dixon that featured a mechanical bull in the back. The “bullpen” area now features a sunken lounge with a DJ booth adjacent.
Neighborhood - the part of the LES that you take friends from out of town to in order to show off your big-city bonafides, you swanky scenester, you.
Pretentious/assholes - so SoE has chosen to employ this new faux-storefront gimmick that they most likely sharked from their across-the-street neighbor Beauty and Essex. Your out-of-town friends will likely find this to be pretty swanky, but I think we can all agree that, really, it’s kinda triflin’. 

Read the rest at

No comments: