Saturday, February 9, 2013


236 Troutman (btw Wilson & Knickerbocker Aves)
Brooklyn, NY 11237
(718) 386-2369

Bathroom situation - 3 single-person WCs in the hallway between the main front space and the back fun space. Much like the terrible Schillers, they have a shared sink in the bathroom area. And yeah, it probably seems random that we’d just reach out there like Mr. Fantastic to slap Schiller’s in their triflin’ mouth for no apparent reason, but trust us, there’s a reason. Email us for details. 
Takes credit cards? - oh yes they did do it. Speaking of which, a friend of Visceralist’s who is really a friend that exists and has a girlfriend on twitter and a Nigerian trust fund and all those normal things that people have when they’re real and you’ve had brunch with them and stuff. So, anyway, this friend was wondering how one would go about checking their credit report score cuz they never have before and apparently (according to their real words that they spoke in person) they want to apply for a new job and they heard that employers be checkin’ on that shit now. Commenters, help us out?
Crowded on weekends? - so even tho this place has been around for over a year, it’s just recently cropped up on Visceralist’s radar, which means that the cool kids are finishing up with it, which means that the bolo hordes will be here ad nauseum come summer 2013.
Seating - so this spot is a restaurant during those useless, boring hours before party time, so they have a bunch of tables and chairs in front. There’s a random side room just past the bathrooms as well for private parties and suchlike.
Neighborhood - the part of Bushwick that thinks it’s on that new hot shit, but apparently forgot to think about the fact that Bed-Stuy is where the new hot shit really been occurring at lately.
Pretentious/assholes - not at first blush, but we’ve already heard reports of people’s coats getting jacked the fuck out the backroom. Granted, it’s foolish to just toss your coat up against the wall and expect the honor system to have its foot on the night’s neck, but if you’re still stealing coats in Obama’s America, you are officially an asshole, yes.
Cost of Stella - Visceralist was buying for the crew for some reason last time we were here, so we were on all-PBR-everything status in a very real way.
What time people start showing up - STOP EVERYTHING: someone(s) on the internet is stupid: the Illuminati fixation? If they exist and they’re as powerful as y’all straw-men say, then what is your JPG-zoomin’ YouTube clip gonna do about it? Raise awareness? Awareness has had its feet up on the coffee table for the past forever, man. Real orgs that exist like City Harvest could really use your time & energy too, man.
Bartender efficiency - top-notch, no qualifiers.
Official Website - here. We had to update Adobe Reader on the Visceralist HQ Hal 2000 in order to check out their menu, which was decidedly unworth it. That’s a check-minus, Tandem.  
Food? How late - if a quick perusal of Tandem’s Yelp reviews are to be believed, the brunch here is on point like calming, late-night hugs from momma. Visceralist hasn’t woken up in time for brunch since we were getting calming, late-night hugs from momma, so we can’t really offer up an opinion on this one.
TVs? What's on - it is kinda interesting how having even a single flat-screen in a bar can change the vibe from easy, late-80s r&b cool into a head-slapping, late-80s, Zach Morris Cuntachella. Anyway, this place doesn’t have any.
Guy:girl ratio - pretty even. Which, btw, commenters, what’s up with that revelation in Ep 8 of House of Cards? The way they downplayed it, hmmm....
Toys - as mentioned above, the bathroom has a communal sink which, if you’re charismatic enough, could be turned into a funny, meet-cute splash party scene from like an early ‘00s Bollywood movie. Just sayin’!
Age of clientele - mostly those that are just sipping gingerly on their 30s.
Space for dancing? - fuck, yo. So this is where Tandem really comes out to play. The backroom dance party is what makes the considerable trip out to this spot worthwhile. 2 Chainz’ “Birthday Song” has never sounded so ill. Plus they have laser lights like that MJ “Rock With You” vid.
Music medium, style & volume - see above.
Specials or most popular drink - seriously, this place is gonna blow up this summer, just remember where you heard it first.

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