Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dark Room

165 Ludlow St.
New York, NY 10002
(212) 353-0536

Bathroom situation
- the bar's divided up into two rooms, right & left. The left has 2 unisex bathrooms in the back. The right has two larger multi-person bathrooms in the back. Now, this is an obvious joke, but the lines involved with these bathrooms have nothing to do with queues.
Takes credit cards? - yes, though you may want to hang on to at least one card for its powder-organizing capabilities.
Crowded on weekends? - even though this place has fallen in and out of being cool and been closed by the cops and re-opened more times than Visceralist dares think about, it still apparently retains some charm...for those seeking permissive bars.
Seating - several nice pleather-padded booths in both rooms. Scant chairs at the bar.
Neighborhood - the bosom of the LES.
Type of crowd - let's just say that if Young Jeezy is actually anything like the persona he portrays in his 2005 masterpiece album "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101" he could prolly make more money here on a Saturday night than he's making through music.
Pretentious/assholes - yeah, but who isn't when they're this wasted. Seriously, they have a "Must be this fucked-up out of your mind to enter" sign on the front.
Cost of Stella - not sure if they have this here actually...tho they prolly do.
What time people start showing up - this place is either totes dead or dumb crowded depending on the day, but you'll usually be able to tell which type of nite it's gonna be by 11pm.
Bartender efficiency - on the crowded nites, 2-3 bartenders at both bars. It can get a little tricky, but people generally focus on dancing, bullshitting or bathrooming so it's not too bad.
Official Website - n/a, but for some reason Zagat saw fit to review this blight.
Food? How late - no, but if you're here you're most likely on SOME kind of appetite-suppressant, so...
TVs? What's on - no TVs, but you wouldn't be able to pay attention to them anyway, so fuck it.
Guy/girl ratio - 50/50 we think.
Toys - most people bring their own.
Age of clientele - there's a reason this place stays getting shut down...actually multiple reasons.
Space for dancing - Yeah, there's actually some decent jiggy-gettin on the weekend. This is Visceralist's favorite dance, btw.
D├ęcor - Not as dark as the name suggests.
Grimeyness - you know what it is.
ID check procedure - Actually fairly strict here and sometimes have one of those ID card swiper joints. Meh.
Hood specificity - This IS your granddad's LES.
Music medium, style & volume - Usually a DJ and usually 80s, but still extra decent.
Specials or most popular drink - happy hour: no one comes here during happy hour.
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