Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Destination Bar & Grille

211 Avenue A (NW corner of 13th)
New York, NY 10009
(212) 388-9844

Bathroom situation
- one M's and one W's in the back to the right...both single-person and both cute as a button on a tiny blazer on a pomeranian puppy (as the above iPhone photo totally attests).
Takes credit cards? - yes, and with no discernable minimum (tho keep in mind this spot is newish yet, so that could all change once they realize how much their APR goes up when they start accepting a bunch of Rush Cards [ed. damn, inside baseball much?]).
Crowded on weekends? - yes, but for some reason this place seems to attract the tastefully, non-descript cool. The sort who take for a given that Wet Hot American Summer is the funniest movie of the past 10 years.
Seating - two tables by the windows in front, 10 stools at the bar, and a long row of booths on the left which could conceivably accommodate 8 people each.
Neighborhood - Right near the border between Stuyvesant Town and reality.
Pretentious/assholes - the reviews of this place on Yelp are so uniformly positive as to suggest evidence of malfeasance (which Yelp is no stranger to, btw), but try as we might, we here at Visceralist genuinely can't really find too much to shit on here. So this place is actually getting one of our better compliments: the absence of vicious insults [ed. big shouts out to Plan B].
Cost of Stella - yes, $6, but only by the bottle. When asked if they had anything on tap that was like Stella, the bartender answered "Um....I'll have to check..." then quickly ran away and forgot this interaction. To be fair tho, she was really hot and skinny, so that question was fairly sadistic. The bartender who took over her shift later, however, responded that no, they didn't have anything on tap even remotely close to Stella.
What time people start showing up - by 10:30ish it'll be crowded to the point where, if you're sitting at a table or in a booth, you'll likely have to remind your waitress about your orders.
Bartender efficiency - they're about as good at making eye-contact with patrons as you are when you cross paths in the street with that ex you still kinda like and think "damn, what kind of effort would it take to get him/her back? Eehhh, not worth it."
Official Website - here. And web 2.0'd up (174 Twitter followers ftw!). Clean and easy to navigate with all the info you'd need from a bar's website (contact, menu, hours). More of this, please, EV bars.
Food? How late - fuck yeah. This is where the drooling really comes in for this Visceralist. The menu's bacon'd up the fuck plus they have something called Buffalo Chicken Lollipops. What's a diabetes?
TVs? What's on - nah, playboy.
Guy:girl ratio - God, Moby's "Play" may be horribly front-loaded and dude may be a one-trick Seabiscuit, but fuck, it's still got that badonk.
Toys - the amenities in the bathrooms are gonna have to make do...that or anything/one you may bring with you into the bathroom [ed. subtle].
Age of clientele - young-looking 30's [ed. hysterical. Like that exists...]
Space for dancing? - this place attracts the kind of crowd that takes dancing lessons after they hit the age of, no.
Grimeyness - still got that new-bar smell. Shouts out to diesel Audis.
ID Check Procedure - they're still too brand new to be turning away folks, so...
Music medium, style & volume
- if they do play music here, it's negligible. The low-rent-swanky-ambiance is deafening however.
Specials or most popular drink - jello shots are on the menu, come in 4 different flavors and are only $3 each. Now...rap about that!

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