Jordan Didn't Make Every Shot

The Carter documentary was boring.

The Doghouse Saloon

152 Orchard St. (btw Rivington & Stanton)

New York, NY 10002
(646) 429-8780

Bathroom situation - one large & cleanly unisex unit on the street level. Downstairs, the usual complement of grubby Ms & Ws (1 each). For some reason the street level one is frequently vacant. This is either cuz the folks here just drunkenly overlook it it on their way downstairs or out of respectful deference to Doghouse Saloon's disabled patrons. Keep in mind that it's called The Doghouse Saloon and it's in the LES though, so we'll leave it up to you to figure out which it is.
Takes credit cards? - dear God yes. As a brand new, enthusiastically fratastic bar in the LES (with considerable sq. footage) this place would be foolish to turn down any form of currency, whether it be credit, traveler's cheque, piggy bank, Argentinian peso, piano lesson coupons or X-Men comics from the 80's.
Crowded on weekends? - ummm, yeah....and with a name like The Doghouse Saloon, a million NYC hipsters already disapprovingly assumed as much. It's perversely fitting in a way that this place is back-to-back with Ludlow Street's own B&T oasis Libation, because in much the same way that Orchard St. is the poor man's Ludlow St., Doghouse is the Sidekick to Libation's Blackberry Storm.
Seating - an abundance of stools by the main bar, two large booths in the back. Roughly the same situation downstairs. Upstairs has been christened as the "VIP Area" which Visceralist wasn't welcome at the night we went here, but we were sort of peeking up at it on the sly from the ground floor...it looked like there were 5 or 6 tables up there, but then the bouncer caught us and told us to stop looking up there like Nigel Tufnel with that one guitar, so we had to stop.
Neighborhood - next door to Demask latex & leather gear shop. 'Nuff said. [ed. nice callback to the X-Men thing from earlier]
Pretentious/assholes - Barrel, meet my friend Fish. Fish, meet my better friend Chrome Desert Eagle.
Cost of Stella - $6...Visceralist has nothing for this, so commenters, go nuts. Best comment will appear here.
What time people start showing up - ok, full disclosure, Visceralist came here for the first time last Friday from like 10 - 12 and has no plans on ever going back. It was basically dead at 10, but did wind up getting lively and vivacious at around 11:30. Whether or not this is true most nights or if this place gets more brolic as the night progresses is up to the commenters or Yelpers to speak on.
Bartender efficiency - in a word, hysterical. There were 3 pros & 1 rookie working that night. Now, according to their website, they offer guest bartender nights so it's possible that the rook was a guest for the night, but given how new this place is, it was really hard to tell. Either way, the rook was the only one actually working while the others were listlessly cavorting and capering and generally dilly-dallying. Or maybe it was just that they were ignoring Visceralist on purpose (wouldn't be the first time, definitely won't be the last). Either way, the negligence was to the point that it was comical and well, now we're putting them on blast. That's how that goes.
Official Website - here. Their homepage has an "index.html" at the end of it. If that's too inside-baseball of a diss for you, then watch this: they've decorated said homepage in what looks like Clip-Art from the 50's. If it's still like we're speaking Tagalog then consider this: they have the following in the footer of every page on the site: "Doghouse Saloon NYC is the newest bar to hit the city. A fun environment with a free hot dog with purchase of any drink. Stop by to see the large two floor bar area with an upstairs game room, 10 TVs that show all sports games and beer pong tournaments. Located close to Rivington on 152 Orchard Street, New York, NY 10002. Doghouse NYC. "
Food? How late - free hot dogs till 4am every night apparently, but considering this place's musk, Visceralist recommends sneaking in some of Duane Reade's new DeLish line of trailmix and assorted candies. [ed. cross our heart, that's not viral marketing]
TVs? What's on - yes, they do shine in this department. They have enough that they were showing the good bball games, college football games & even world cup qualifier games. OK, well, singular tense for all those, not plural, but still...
Guy:girl ratio - they have a Wheel O' Shots here (with "water" on one of the tabs), so you can surely imagine how many women love coming here all the time, like nonstop infinity. Harder to gauge when it comes to the men-folk tho.
Toys - Billiards, Skee Ball, Buck Hunter, and most importantly, Beer Pong. Yes ma'am. Mothers, free your daughters. Professor Snodgrass, we're serving you notice...school's out for summer! The Doghouse Saloon has sent out the Close Encounters of the Third Kind quint-tone, and Richard Dreyfus has arrived with a keg over each shoulder! Excitement! Intrigue! Arguments over whether bounce-ins (and you're gonna get bounce-ins) count! Beirut!
Age of clientele - old enough to irreverently procreate. Shouts out to this.
Space for dancing? - yes on the main floor and, if memory serves, downstairs. DID YOU KNOW! That the Courtney Cox "Dancing in the Dark" dance is not only alive, not only well, but flourishing and doing pre-2008-Madoff business?
ID Check Procedure - yeah, pretty on-point too.
Music medium, style & volume - suppose this is a good time to mention that this place used to be a somewhat-respected LES live indie-music venue called The Annex. Visceralist was considering pointing this out earlier, but really, The Annex was never all that. Never on par with like Pianos or even The Delancey. It was decent for what it was, but we don't think BrooklynVegan or anyone really shed a tear when this place shut down (shouts out to Rothko). At The Doghouse Saloon they have a DJ and, not sure if this is representative, but they did play the full album mix of Fatboy Slim's "Rockefeller Skank."
Specials or most popular drink - they have a bunch of specials listed on their web 0.5 site, but we can't be bothered.
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The Blue Seats

157 Ludlow St. (btw Rivington & Stanton)

New York, NY 10002
(212) 614-1494

Bathroom situation - they got 3 single-person units, so when the clock hits 00:00 you can bet that your bladder lost 14oz - 0. Forealdo, a sports bar with this kind of limited bathroom situation is taking an L till the break of dawn. If you really really have to go, sneak down the street to Spitzer's.
Takes credit cards? - yes ma'am [ed. that's for your "football" team, Michigan...shots fired!].
Crowded on weekends?- depends on whether it's tennis grand-slam season or not. If not, then yes. If so, then no. Which, btw, Agassi said in the new Vanity Fair that he wishes he had Federer's talent. Poor guy...Federer, that is. Now he's gotta play Andre off at tennis dinner parties and suchlike...
Seating - this is where The Blue Seats gets all controversial like Ruby...they have 3 (4?) pretty slick booths equipped with 5 flat-screens each which can fit around 6 or 7 comfortably and which can conceivably play any game in the land that's on at that particular point in time. Catch is that they charge by the hour for them. They also have a sick (you'll hear that word a lot around here) viewing room in the upstairs area in the back which is like something out of an episode of cribs where the guy actually owns the place they're showing (shouts out to Smilez & Southstar). Controversial cuz they dare charge for prime seating real estate like this in the LES, but really can you blame them? Though Visceralist is loathe to defend one of Libation's cousins like this, you know that Local 138 is right down the street and Lucky Jacks is right around the corner, so if you're hatin', (GOB voice:) come on!
Neighborhood- hipstery enough to make The Blue Seats seem out of place cuz it attracts too much khaki and not enough denim, but also gentrified enough to make The Blue Seats seem out of place cuz it attracts too much khaki and not enough cashmere. [ed. can we get the Geneva Convention on the line about this metaphor?]
Pretentious/assholes- let's just say that if Visceralist had an AdSense nickel for every time the phrase "it is what it is" is used around this place over the course of an average month, we'd be able to ditch both AdSense & Visceralist and post up on a hammock in St. Lucia till the Mayan calendar resets and makes everything moot.
Cost of Stella- they have it here in draft form and it'll set you back about as much as a Subway $5 foot-long (+tax)...there's a Subway 3.5 blocks south on Ludlow btw. They don't have Stella though.
What time people start showing up - sports o'clock...which is usually about 3 hours before the Michigan Wolverines lose to THE Ohio State University Buckeyes.
Bartender efficiency- if you're seated and actually getting wait-service, you're basically fucked and should prolly sneak in some stuff from Rosario's (they have beef patties and they'll put pepperoni & cheese in them for you if you ask). If you're actually going up to the bar for drinks, you're likely to get someone's attention by waving around a $20 and making noises like Kramer was when he was trying to get Mickey Mantle's attention in some TV show.
Official Website - here. Lil Wayne was talking about The Blue Seats' website when he ad-libbed "Check me out, look..." on the song "Always Strapped."
Food? How late- fuck, finally! Some of the best American-style tapas you'll be able to find in the LES no matter how many stones you turn over or kilts you peek under. Wait, we're talking about Stanton Social, right?
TVs? What's on - yeah, um, think so, um doi doi doi, duh duh, duhhhhhh. Derrrrr. Um, yeah I think a sports bar in New York City would have TVs, um hello?!?!
Guy:girl ratio - needs work.
Toys - knee-slappin, fist-bumpin, bro-hamin, beer-chuggin, Bucks-winnin, bill-payin, cab-callin, cock-yankin, tear-fallin.
Age of clientele - if anyone here is under 27, please join AmeriCorps and/or seek help before it's too late.
Space for dancing? - Visceralist always tries to reserve some space for dancing on the grave of the once-proud Wolverines who we seem to remember at one point actually stood a chance of beating Tressel's troops. But that's about it.
ID Check Procedure - if you're actually underage and try to sneak in here, you deserve everything you get. Yes, all the chips and the dip.
Music medium, style & volume - if it's not a chant you could easily squeeze in between a turnover and a snap, you won't hear it here. So no Kid Cudi.
Specials or most popular drink- this isn't really a happy-hour type place, but they do have $0.25 wing nights pretty regularly. Check their sick-ass website for more.
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Cake Shop

152 Ludlow St. (btw Rivington & Stanton)

New York, NY 10002
(212) 252-0036

Bathroom situation- in a words: surprisingly paltry. They only have one single-use honey-drop on the street level, and it's bus' down like Shaq's knees [ed. and that mug's still making more than Bron Bron this year...smh]. They have a Dude's & Dudette's downstairs, but since that's where their stage is, you'll usually have to come out your pocket to use them. Smfh.
Takes credit cards?- Though Visceralist definitely recalls having left our corporate card here overnight one time and came back the next day all grateful when it turned up in their lost-n-found [ed. not grateful enough to leave a tip though, according to the expense report. smh], they appurrntly no longer take cards here. So unroll them bills, mayne...
Crowded on weekends?- yes, but the street level is usually not terribly painful given that there'll be PLENTY of room in the back area where they still try to sell some kind of physical, analog musical conveyance that doesn't have any usb interface or nothin' like that there. As for the downstairs area...you know that scene in Kubrick's "The Shining" where the elevator doors open and blood pours out like 2 feet deep? No, never seen it? Ok, well just imagine something like that, but replace the blood with sweat and Beacon's Closet receipts and that basically sums up the downstairs "venue" space.
Seating- street level has a few stools and 4 or 5 tables, plus they prolly wouldn't mind if you sat your dumps right down on the record racks in the back, cuz it's not like they're gonna be making any money off them like ever [ed. never ever]. Downstairs has a couple stools and a few couches like you'd find during "lesson time" from an old episode of Electric Company or some such.
Neighborhood- 1 hop + 1 skip away from famed LES nightspot Libation, whose velvet rope no Cake Shopper would make it past even if they gave it the bum's rush in a bodysuit made of H1N1 & Lyme's disease.
Pretentious/assholes- Visceralist had an experience here in which some trick-ass mark tried to cut in the front of the upstairs bathroom line cuz he "had to go really really bad." And then the rest of the night went really really bad for him.
Cost of Stella - a rote $6, but they only have it in those glass bottles you often see beer come in.
What time people start showing up- well, they serve food here plus they sell records [ed. pssht], so folk dawdle in and loiter out basically throughout the day.
Bartender efficiency- the downstairs bar usually has two bartenders on busy nights, but there's still a good chance you'll be struggling to make eye contact and then reaching over a person or two to exchange unrolled dollar bills for booze. Your best bet: waving your arms wildly and screaming "Hey! Heyyyy!" until the needle on the (unpurchased) record skips and the whole place goes silent and everyone turns to glare at you.
Official Website - here. Visceralist can't even stunt on this cuz it's actually quite well organized, colorful and extremely band-friendly (clear contact info for booking + a list of equipment available...a rarity).
Food? How late- Visceralist is a carnivore to the nth, repeating ("Yes, we'll have the Scotch Egg with the bacon au jus.") so something about the vegan-delightful vibe of the cafe here just plain rubs us sideways. Plus, um, hello...there's a recession going, so how often are we really throwing out our day-old pastries, people? Think on it.
TVs? What's on - closest you might get is some kind of TV on the Radio side-project.
Guy:girl ratio- one of the Real Housewives of NYC came here one time cuz she heard The Bravery were gonna do a secret MySpace show that was sponsored by Sparks & American Apparel. With photos by The Cobra Snake. Didn't pan out...
Toys - whipping old records at Chuck Klosterman's stupid glasses.
Age of clientele - let's just say that most folks here will totes understand why Bronson Pinchot's recent AV Club interview was so damn brolic.
Space for dancing? - well, this isn't really that type of place. But on the plus side, it's also not the type of place where you're likely to get your ass gaffled in a sweaty mosh pit.
ID Check Procedure- kissy faces, blush & eye-lash batting ain't a gonna work here. On the other hand, it might...Visceralist has never really been here.
Music medium, style & volume - j/k...Visceralist caught MGMT here back in early '08 before they blew up the fuck. And, get this, they didn't even do "Kids"...or as the meathead in the audience called it, "Play Control Yourself!"
Specials or most popular drink - PG Tips.
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Lil Wayne - No Ceilings (mixtape)

Sheeit...Wayne came back and unleashed that gotdammit on 'em. (here, via Nah Right)

Marshall Stack

66 Rivington St (NW corner of Allen)

New York, NY 10002
(212) 228-4667

Bathroom situation - three in the back, then hang a left. One for ladies, one for gentlemen, one for the lonely souls. The walls in the men's room are wallpapered with images of the particular electrical guitar amplifier advertised in the title of this post (this is presumably the case in the women's as well...commenters, c'est vrai?). Confusingly, this interior design decision belies the wannabe-upscale vibe that the rest of the bar clearly hopes to engender. C'est meh.
Takes credit cards? - Yelp says they do, but in point of fact, they do not do.
Crowded on weekends? - Visceralist doesn't like to preach or use one-syllable words when there exists a pretentious 4-syllable synonym (shouts out to "proselytize"), but it seems apparent that there still exists an "A Sound of Thunder"-esqe niche/market for a bar that can provide the crowd that looks down on Banana Republic but still can't afford Etiquita Negra to feel cool w/o actually having to put in any effort.
Seating - rickety on purpose. They have the standard contingent of stools at the bar, but the tables are like seriously time-warp-teleported from an episode of Mad Men. Re-purposed elementary school desks from 1960's Ossining is what we're getting at. For the win?
Neighborhood - down the street from a barber-shop called Well Connected (who's hours are yeah - yup, Mon - Thurish). But across the other street from The Reed Space, which has some of the best t-shirts this side of triflin-ass alife.
Pretentious/assholes - Appropos of nothing, Visceralist once randomly struck up a conversation here with a curly-haired friend of a friend who for some reason divulged that, though her Banana Republic bf assumed she was a legal secretary at some Wall St. firm, she was actually a "happy ending" masseuse at a Wall St. massage "parlor." She specified that services offered included both hjs & bjs. Despite being college-educated, she justified this by noting that "Monica was just the only one that got caught..." Two questions popped into Visceralist's mind at this point: (a) did she require condoms for the bjs? and (b) how much for a bj w/o a condom? The only response Visceralist could muster in real life, however, was the unfortunately reductive, "God damn...your world is a muthafucka."
Cost of Stella - if you have to ask...
What time people start showing up - from the outside looking in, this spot affects a certain affability in that folks breeze in and out throughout the afternoon most days. HOWEVER. Is it not in fact the case that most folk who grin and get all touchy-feelie at the site of a rack of khaki-colored whatever do not have the best fashionably-late-dar?
Bartender efficiency - don't quote Visceralist on this, but we swear we once saw a bartender in a sweater-vest and tie...all un-ironically like it was all good! Foreheads were be-slapped.
Official Website - the results from a Google search of "Marshall Stack NYC" indicates that they do have a site, but a left-click on the top link puts paid to that boshit.
Food? How late - yes, but gourmand's beware, the "kitchen" consists of whatever a step or two up from a college dorm hot-plate & mini-fridge would be. There's a bodega across the street, so for once just pretend like your Sopranos-loving ass has actually seen The Wire and sneak in some Utz Crab chips.
TVs? What's on - no, but they have candles on some of the tables so study up on the Wikipedia page for shadow puppets before setting out.
Guy:girl ratio - for some reason women tend to think this place isn't the Febreeze'd-up dive bar it really is, and are thus comfortable enough with it to post pics on their Facebook page of Sarah's newly-single "His Loss '09" girl's-nite-out held here.
Toys - a favorite of Visceralist's is listing all the myriad reasons why this place shouldn't be named after an awesome rock amp.
Age of clientele - Visceralist doesn't like to throw around the term "Fuddy Duddy" with abandon, but really...
Space for dancing? - if you've even heard of the movie Black Dynamite (2nd best comedy movie of 2009, btw...In the Loop is the 1st), your dance moves are prolly too good for this place and will likely be misunderstood and feared.
ID Check Procedure - there's an SVA dorm 2 blocks away from Marshall Stack and Visceralist is NOT encouraging them to show up here even though they don't usually have a bouncer.
Music medium, style & volume - the sample from Ghostface Killa's "Cherchez La Ghost" that goes "Tommy Mottola..." is from a band (name not important) who premised their music style as being a pure American style that they believed would've naturally evolved over the 60's-70's had the British Invasion never happened. I know, your first thought is like, "For what?!" And really their only valuable contribution to the music biz is the Ghostface song. Visceralist's point is that, if these artists are still alive, they wouldn't be unhappy with the music here. Meanwhile, Chris Martin thinks The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony" is the best song ever written.
Specials or most popular drink - they have 20 beers on tap + another 30ish bottles, which almost certainly outshines any other bar in a 3-block radius, so if you like it then you better put a ring on it.
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Epstein's Bar

82 Stanton St. (NE corner of Allen)

New York, NY 10002
(212) 477-2232

Bathroom situation- two in the back, men's to the left, women's to the right. The men's features a urinal and a stall with swinging Old West saloon doors like they have in Back to the Future Part III. Visceralist has heard that the women's is single-person, but feel free to correct that in the comments if need be.
Takes credit cards? - no, and Visceralist is starting to get sick of this BS (we're looking at you too, Pink Pony). Third-party ATM fees are straight bozack.
Crowded on weekends? - this is a deceptively small bar, and it's in the heart of the LES, so you subtract 9 from both sides and do the rest of the math.
Seating - they do manage to squeeze a grip of tables into their lack of square-footage, and during the warmer seasons they have an extra 4 or 5 tables on the patio, so if you happen to come here when most other people have a parade or beach to go to, you should be able to rest your glutes, rectum & anus.
Neighborhood - right close to the newly-opened Thompson Hotel (Antoine Merriweather voice: Hated it.). Don't expect much spillover though.
Pretentious/assholes - this place tends to attract genuine LES locals (no charge, Neilsen...bust out the clipboards) and because it's so small, most other NYCers won't bother squeezing in.
Cost of Stella - again, they only take cash here, so who knows if they have a set price for Stella? The IRS certainly doesn't. Most likely though, it's $6.
What time people start showing up - the problem with young people today: not enough jobs to keep them from showing up at Epstein's around 8ish most nights.
Bartender efficiency - yikes. Best to look at this through a European filter. Visceralist has never been to Europe (nor does Epstein's really profess to be inspired by European bars), but presumably the service at outdoor bars/cafe's there is really slow too.
Official Website - here. Took a visit here to realize that this establishment actually is named after a certain Sweathog's mother (like any of its clientele would get that). Can't hate on it too hard though cuz it's succinct and has their daily specials menu on every page. Eat a dick up till you hiccup, Hi-Fi's website.
Food? How late - yes, basic bar food menu, but the place is so small that one wonders where the hell they actually cook all this shit up. One assumes the kitchen that's actually perfectly visible from anywhere in the bar.
TVs? What's on - yes and sports. If you're like Visceralist and realize that baseball is boring (shouts out to football, basketball & tennis), you'd do well to avoid this place during the months Sept-Oct.
Guy:girl ratio - leaning towards the penis (no homo).
Toys - flat-screen tvs and yelling.
Age of clientele - as Epstein's is close to the border of the LES, you'll find a good mix of problematic young people today that don't know they're not welcome and the 30 year olds who'll make sure they figure that out asap.
Space for dancing? - Visceralist has seen a number of people bus' a hot Stanky Leg when the trumped-up check arrives at the end of the night. With they broke ass.
Grimeyness - hate to pull a Red Carpet Rivers move, but the cracked and uneven tiles throughout the bar are a dead giveaway.
ID Check Procedure - no bouncer, and the bartender's usually a chick who won't bother carding cuz she's got those "student loans" to pay off and, hey, you do have a $20 in your hand, so...
Music medium, style & volume - jukebox here, but the only thing you'll hear is something that's been synched with the bartender's iSomething. So don't come here acting all bougie.
Specials or most popular drink - 2 for 1 drinks & dinners till 11pm on Tuesdays. This seems to be the most popular reason for people to be here, but Thursday is guest bartender night, which seems way more potentially fraught with peril and, thus, interesting.
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People Lounge

163 Allen St. (btw Rivington & Stanton)

New York, NY 10002
(212) 254-2668

Bathroom situation - Street level: two in the rear, one with urinals, one without. Both as plain as Jane's plain brain game. Upper level: two single-person units around the corner from the bar, but one seems to be employees-only. The other one is spacious enough for you to bring a friend, and the walls are thick enough that people outside won't be able to eavesdrop on the inevitable argument that erupts when your so-called friend gets all incensed that you asked her to do "that" in there.
Takes credit cards? - yes, but this is exactly the type of place where shit can just come up missing if you happen to accidentally leave it there overnight. Not saying that this typically happens here or that it's intentional when/if it does; really just wanted to use the phrase "come up."
Crowded on weekends? - this is People Lounge's consistent claim to fame. As advertised, there be people. All in your grill.
Seating - this is one of those places that segues from respectable-ish restaurant to loungey-club over the course of the evening so there are a fair number of tables, booths & stools at the bar on the street level. None of this, however, will be available to you if you arrive after 10pm. The upper level is more lounge-sofa oriented, and trust that any stools at the bar will be pushed to the side well before SNL begins broadcasting with their newly-instituted 3 minute delay.
Neighborhood - the stretch of Allen that desperately doesn't want you to notice that they share the block with one of the LES's better housing projects.
Pretentious/assholes - though People Lounge definitely attracts a nerdier crowd than your prototypical LES romper room, it's not without its share of moneyed-up solipsists. These folk, however, will at least wait till they get home before they brag about how they almost poured your own fucking beer all over your whole fucking UniQlo-sourced outfit cuz you were looking over at them too much.
Cost of Stella - apparently if you show up in some nice UniQlo attire and have a receding hairline (oh, btw they don't allow baseball caps in here) you get charged one price, but if you show up in some been there, done that Bloomie's bullshit you get a different, lower price. Rich get richer...
What time people start showing up - the dinner here is allegedly mad decent, so a lot of people come at 8, then mosey on upstairs after getting a box for what's left of their creme brule (that's a metaphor, they don't actually have creme brule here).
Bartender efficiency - even though Visceralist has been here a few times with folks who were friendly with the upstairs bartender, it's still basically a crap shoot. People is almost always too understaffed to adequately handle the weekend crowd, so you'll be better off sneaking in a flask of amaretto.
Official Website - here. Flash'd up like it's going out of style (it is btw, shouts out to HTML 5.0), but pleasantly concise. Plus their Upcoming Events section actually has upcoming events (as opposed to the GWB-era events you see on most LES/EV bar sites these days).
Food? How late - yeah, saw some Satay's or something on their menu.
TVs? What's on - no, so the game of pretend-voiceovers-of-what-that-couple-over-there-is-talking-about is a must.
Guy:girl ratio - 50:50 ish, though you'll sometimes be hard-pressed to tell which is which. "Strong in the face" is a phrase you'll overhear more than once.
Toys - you'll have to make do with cocktail napkins and maraschino cherries.
Age of clientele - the futilely-clinging-to-their-20s set and those who encourage them. And may we add, if the majority of your waking hours during your 20s were spent in a button-up shirt, let them go. You'll fit in much bett[ed. let's just stop there and try to steer clear of the class critiques from here on out, ok?].
Space for dancing? - huzzah, People Lounge's one saving grace. They actually have a "dance floor" on the upper level and the DJ actually plays songs with +120 bpm and syncopation. Granted, it's usually so crowded that inadvertent bumping/grinding is a given, but the dopamine that (for once) is naturally released in your brain after Sean Paul's "Get Busy" fades into Keri Hilson's "Turnin Me On" will more than make up for it.
Grimeyness - mostly Swiffered away.
ID Check Procedure - bouncer out front...even in the cold, so you know he's not in a good mood, and he's checking both men's and cute women's.
Music medium, style & volume - DJ in the upper room on the weekends and at the frequent "networking events" this place hosts. The music is usually "Wait, what?!" loud, but Visceralist is rarely mad at the selection.
Specials or most popular drink - the Purple People Eater - Hypnotic & cranberry juice on the rocks (with a splash of amaretto courtesy of our little secret). J/k, this is really more of a suggestion.
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